The After Dice

[Generic Skinhead]

BLANKEROONY

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ July 03, 2002 09:13 AM: Message edited by: Generic Skinhead ]</font>

[SoulJacker]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">We see a man?s closed eye. The eye flickers open and we zoom back to reveal:

JOHN WALLACE lying face down, on the grass beside a bench. He gets up, confused, looking around. He is a tall, 25 years old, with dark hair sharply dressed. He dusts himself down and looks at his wrist, but his watch has stopped. He approaches TAL, who is standing a few yards away. He is dark skinned and dressed in a TRACK-SUIT.

</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't understand this...I take it the eye we zoom out of is JOHN WALLACE'S, but you say he is "lying face down"...how can that work?

[Generic Skinhead]

Sorry bout that. I appreciate it's confusing without storyboards. What I meant is that he's lying on one side of his face as opposed to wholly face down. Your the first person to spot that, but your right, it is unclear without the storyboards. Any other howlers?

[Generic Skinhead]

Oh cmon! 60 views and 1 reply! Maths may not be my strong point but thats a pretty poor ratio. Either everyone is speechless or just too **** lazy! Help a guy out here!

[fullfuckinracecams]

Seems ok. I dont know what to say about it. I mean, its good, there are some strong and interesting ideas in there. But I think it needs a rug to tie it all together. I think this needs to be preceeded by something, but hey you've shot it already and thats fine but if you want this to mean anything other than a slightly pretentious exploration of fate and the after-life, then it will need a story before it. I dunno something along the lines of a guys ambitions and that he's wasting his life away as an actor, then he gets this wake up call after a freak accident on set (could be funy) which gives him clarity. Thats a little more juicy.

Your concept of fate is pretty 'neat' (I can say that) and original...well maybe not truly original but little kids playing school yard games freak me out.

Thats what I think.

[eddie]

its quite funny.
what else is there to say?

[Generic Skinhead]

Cool, now at least I've got two quotes to put on the cover.

The After Dice
"Slightly Pretentious"
"Quite Funny"

[img]wink.gif[/img]

[deanl]

Hey there.

Yep... Read this a while ago. I thought it was pretty cool idea then and it still is now. Shame the finished movie is gonna **** balls though.

Despin out.

[fullfuckinracecams]

Generic Skinhead,

would you take a look at my screenplay - its in the thread called 'untitled'.

Cheers

[beuford]

awesome idea... had a quirky Oracle-from-The-Matrix thing going.
i felt that the dialogue was what let it down though... some was good, but some felt a little klunky... personally, i reckon the dialogue should be a little more flowing and natural.
anyway, that's just my opinion.

how'd it come out? what was wrong with it?

Beuford C Constantinople